so. i have decided to be open to new relationships and see what comes my way. after my last ridiculous boyfriend, i am determined. i want something nice. i would like to be a part of a fruitful relationship. not some sort of ridiculous circus freak show, as the last one was.
so over the past few months i have met a series of men some of them nice, some of them interesting. but the common thread in them all is that they are missing whatever that thing is that i need.
and then i stop myself and think, am i being to picky? am i looking for something that does not exist? am i really being that open?
i have dated men in and out of religious boundaries. the only difference that i perceive is at what point the sex comes in. i have been told that i am a sexy creature, so this always presents itself as a problem. for men with no religious affiliation, the sex comes up very quickly. are we having it? not necessarily, but they want to know what they can get relatively quickly. with religious men, they put up a good fight for a while, but if i am not whipping the reigns of self restraint, and guiding the chariot, we end up going too far off course sooner or later.
so anyway. i have figured out that because i am sexy, and overtly so, i want a man to see past all the sexiness and want to be my friend and companion. i won't stop til i find it. all others will fall short and will go on the f list. F- for friend, of course. am i open closed? or what? i don't know.
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